Last week, a client and I were discussing how to best navigate her organization’s burnout culture, and how she could set boundaries to support herself. My client was hesitant at first, sharing how it was important for her to act in integrity by treating others with kindness and a helpful attitude. I responded by asking her, “What about integrity for how you treat yourself?” We began to explore how what she really needed was to honor and respect herself first in order to create the desired changes in her circumstances.
For my recovering perfectionists, people pleasers, and overachievers, I know you can relate to this....sacrificing yourself in the name of overworking, saying yes to things out of obligation, or trying to prove yourself by achieving some external factor of success. I’ve done it too. It doesn’t feel good, and definitely does not help you achieve what you really want.
In this video blog, I talk about how to replace the narrative of “do more, work more, sacrifice more” with honoring, respecting and investing in yourself so that you can truly live with integrity, inside and out.
Assess: Where in your work/life are you not fully honoring yourself and your values? Where are you putting your well-being last? What’s this really about? Examine your beliefs and what you’re telling yourself that’s enabling you to make these choices. Are these choices truly in integrity with what you want for yourself?
Write your Policies: My client shared that she able to say ‘no’ and set boundaries when there were clear organizational polices in place to back her up. We took this a step further by asking her to develop her own personal “policies” for how she treated herself and expected others to engage with her. What are your policies and non-negotiables for how you respect and honor yourself? How would you show up differently if you implemented these?
Implement Proactive Habits: What are proactive behaviors that you can implement regularly to support yourself? Rather than being reactive and only supporting yourself when you’re burnt out, overwhelmed and frustrated, what can you do instead to be proactive and avoid getting to this point to begin with? What would this look like at work and in your life?
There will be a Part II to this blog series in the next few weeks about how to put your new ‘policies’ and boundaries into practice. What are your questions that you want me to address in the post? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to share your questions with me. I will answer each individually and also include in the final post!